I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
