Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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