I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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