So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
