It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
