was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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