Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
