i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You are the jesus of drinking
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
