I wish I could punch you in the face.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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