your parents love me but you hate me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
