Small penises have feelings too.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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