frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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