yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
