Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
