She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
