Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
