She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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