Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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