it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
