i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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