At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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