i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I will be naked everywhere
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
