went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize