Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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