I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween