Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
