and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle