Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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