A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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