just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just had sex on a roof
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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