he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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