As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
