i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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