Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
