Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
