Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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