Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
