I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize