I hate all girls vehemently.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
