I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
