Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
