I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
