You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Houston, we have a squirter
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
