Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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