If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
