Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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