Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
