You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
