I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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