It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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