apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I currently don't understand fingers.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
