We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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