He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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