So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
