how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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