so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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