If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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