We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
