Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
