Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
