remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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