Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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